MIA - Again
It has now been over a year since I’ve written here. I’m not really upset about it, though, because I’m fully aware of the reason that I haven’t.
In late February of 2009, I found out that I was pregnant. Since then, I went through nine months of a pretty easy pregnancy, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and watched my darling Maggie fall completely in love with her baby sister (as we all have). And I just didn’t want to think about Williams Syndrome while all of that was going on.
I know that it is a luxury that we have that a lot of people don’t…being able to put the WS at the back of our minds and not really consider it in our day-to-day lives. Yes, we have three therapies per week and doctor appointments more often than a “normal” family, and Maggie’s unique personality and delays are more apparent now than ever, but, for the most part, I feel like our daily life is fairly…well, “normal.”
I couldn’t think about WS when I was pregnant. I couldn’t think about genetic disorders and heart conditions. Unless it came up, I didn’t want to think about. And this blog had become a “Williams Syndrome blog” to me, and was no longer a “Maggie blog.”
Does that make sense?
I love having friends in the WS community, and I love the sharing and support that only people who understand Maggie’s disorder can offer, but I didn’t like feeling guilty when she was doing great. No one made me feel that way, but I felt it just the same. I read other families’ stories about heart surgeries and erratic behavior and fighting with school districts and I just didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to ask for help and advice on potty training when there are other people trying to make sure their kid survives major surgery, you know? I’m sure that burying my head in the sand is not the best way to go, but that’s what I needed.
But I did feel bad about not writing for one major reason…for the information. I know how valuable it was for me to read about others’ experiences with WS when we first got the diagnosis, and I want to have something out there that might do the same for someone else.
I also have to confess that I’ve been cheating on this blog (gasp!) with another blog. I started another one that was for me. Not a pregnancy journal or WS journal or whatever…just for me, and whatever I wanted to say. I’m still keeping up with it, and do write about our family and WS and Maggie and our new baby girl, and I hope to repost some of that here very soon.
Until then, though, here are a few photos of my darling girl, a year older, a year wiser, and more than a year feistier.